To be loved.

Monday, December 4th, 2017

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It’s the single thing I think about the very most. Love. All kinds of love. Deep, meaningful relationships. It’s the prayer that’s always pouring from my lips.

I have just been with myself for a while. I live alone, and there certainly isn’t a revolving door of boys positioned in the front of my little apartment. I still dream of the girls who will stand on my side, girls I aspire to be more like, girls who can push me further in the direction I’m chasing and, when needed, girls who can grab my shoulders and turn me around.

I’m hesitant to use the term season, simply because I don’t think God gives us seasons to prepare for other seasons. I don’t think we were designed to live waiting for a better time to come around, nor do I think it’s fair to slap a label on all the things that fill these spans of time. I think the obstacles I approach today will help me continue my walk down this path – tonight, tomorrow, and the day after that. Joy is now, not the husband and kids and big, white house ten years from now.

But, girl, I feel you. Waiting for the right boy to come knocking, watching all your 20-something friends find the loves of their lives. Seeing photos of sweet friends on social media. It’s hard. It’s frustrating. And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t doubt that the Lord had something so exciting and beautiful waiting for me every now and again.

I’m often quite negative in my loneliness. Community is such a huge part of walking with the Lord, and I wonder why I haven’t been gifted the great, but often undervalued, luxury. I find myself walking further from his Word when I don’t have people to push me in that direction. I find myself questioning his timing. When I don’t have those people, I often don’t feel God.

In Philippians 4, Paul says, “for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.”

Now, Paul was imprisoned at the time, not on this great search for love, but I still think there is some truth to be gained. Girl, God’s got you. In God’s will and with His strength, we have the strength to carry on. I don’t believe my desire for these relationships with simply vanish. I think these are things I will continue to pray for for the rest of my life. But I believe He gives us the strength in our circumstances.

Contentment is not a combination of the emotions your feeling tonight, nor is it the circumstance your in. It’s a lifestyle. It’s waking up every morning and not mournfully looking at the long day of school and the people you don’t have, it’s waking up and saying “Thank you, Jesus.”

And, more than anything, I believe when we are content, and we know our value in Him, and we trust that He will place the most beautiful things in our path, the passions and the desires and the goals just grow. And I believe, then, we can just run.



Sunday, August 6th, 2017

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While running Little City Magazine and sharing the brilliant thoughts of over 50 young women is simply the greatest blessing and a joy I never thought I would come by in this lifetime, it also takes a toll on my own writing and the confidence I have in putting words on a page. And the more words I read, the more thoughts I have swirling in my head, and it becomes difficult to put a pin in one. But one thing that has been on my mind a little more often recently has been the idea of finding our calling.

I was talking to someone (who happened to be a crazy cool nonprofit founder) recently about the idea of not only grasping onto the plans God has for you, but also having the confidence to ceaselessly pursue them. A lofty topic, but one that fascinates me endlessly. This idea that people can experience things that push them to pursue the life God destined them for. This idea that through encounters with other people, through feelings in their gut, or through dreams that approach in the middle of the night, we can grab onto our calling.

And, to be honest, I pray for the sound of this calling to grow just loud enough for me to hear it nearly every night. Yes, when I slowly soak in a Michigan Avenue covered in Christmas lights, I feel showered in the comfort of knowing I am exactly where I am supposed to be. When I wake up each morning to post Little City Mag’s new article or Badala’s new restock on social media, I take so much joy in what I’m putting out into the world. I know what I love to do, but I often fail to be sure that I’m following the path the Lord wants me to take, and I’m not positive that’s an apprehension that will ever go away entirely.

I came across this verse in 1 Peter earlier this week that reads, “As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace” (1 Peter 4:10).

And, in reading this, I simply felt this weight lifted. This weight of I’m not doing what I am supposed to be doing just lifted off my shoulders.

Because what you pursue in this lifetime doesn’t have to come from a heavenly voice shouting down to you. We all have things that we love to do, and odds are, you are probably already doing it. You are probably already picking up that camera everyday or shooting a basketball in the hoop at the end of the driveway. You probably already know what you love to do, and you can probably already point out the personality traits and skills and aspirations built into your being. And His varied grace gives us the privilege of uniqueness and the opportunity to bring something different to the world than the people before you and the ones that will follow.

I think God created each of us with innate gifts, and I think He designed our lives long before our existence began. And while I wish as much as the next person that I had a direct line to God, I think we are designed to pursue the things we love, the things the Lord implanted inside of us relentlessly and for the betterment of the Kingdom. And I think that’s our calling.


more madewell.

Friday, June 30th, 2017

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madewell open shoulder top, destroyed summer jean, and leather sandals.

Though my style posts have become quite slim now-a-days, I thought I would share some of my summertime favorites. After looking at some of the photos that have been captured throughout these summer months, I’ve realized that more often than not, my clothing pieces have come from Madewell, which is quickly becoming my favorite store. When I left the house in this outfit, I failed to realize I was actually head-to-toe in Madewell gear. Their clothing is such great quality and allows for the perfect effortless, summer style – plus their sale section is always full of great stuff. There is certainly a good chance that you are already well-aquainted with this popular place, but I hope you enjoy looking at some of my favorite Madewell finds.

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